“How can I help you to stop?” is what you should be asking if you’re serious about providing support. We’re psychologically raw and exposed and as such we feel things, good and bad, very deeply. You might see it as an overreaction – to us, it’s an honest expression of what we’re feeling. Think about the opening scene in the wonderful film, What about Bob, where his most recent, fully unnerved therapist is quitting and referring Bob to a new therapist . Bob is actually more of a multi-phobic person but also displays that clingy, boundary violating, borderline quality that drives some people, particularly his narcissistic therapists, nuts. This is somewhat unheard ofin fact, I was shocked, initially.
How long do BPD relationships last?
You can also share your thoughts on the BPD “favorite person” relationship with us in the comments below. Ongoing fear of abandonment – the presence of a “favorite person” doesn’t remove this fear. If anything, the importance placed on the relationship with the “favorite person” can trigger it if there is a sign of withdrawal, life change,or any absence. If you are the “favorite person” for someone, your relationship with the person with BPD will most likely be turbulent and they will require the reassurance of your continued regard for them. It is therefore important that you maintain your own emotional well-being by setting healthy relationship boundaries. From the outside, the relationship between someone with BPD and their “favorite person” appears intense and very close.
Here are some of the toughest things about having a favorite person. If you or your loved one is in immediate danger, then contact the 988 Helpline or reach out to your nearest helpline number. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Emotional manipulation is sometimes difficult to spot.
“Favorite person,” or “FP” is a term used commonly in the borderline community. A lot of people have a favorite person, someone they share their life with, trust more than others. But for borderlines, it’s often a whole different matter.
Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Neglecting other relationships or hobbies – many people with BPD may start to ignore other relationships or spend less and less time on things that interest them. This sands away their sense of self and can leave their life feeling unbalanced and confusing.
What it’s like living with borderline personality disorder, and how we get by. Even if a relationship is unhealthy, a person with BPD can have trouble letting the relationship go. This is particularly true of long-term partnerships or marriages. People with BPD often have many positive qualities that can make them great romantic partners some of the time. Furthermore, many people who have been in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD describe their partner as fun, exciting, and passionate.
Cyclic behaviors are often how the symptoms of borderline personality disorder manifest. Feelings of anxiety and fear of abandonment may start to appear in your partner. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder , you may know things can get emotional and intense at times. A favorite person has a massive influence on the lives of an individual with BPD.
Seeing their “favorite person” spending time with other people can trigger feelings of abandonment, insecurity,and lack of control. It is unremarkable to have a person in your life whom you prioritize and spend a great deal of time with. However, for someone with BPD, this intense relationship can feel all-encompassing. Their “favorite person” may become their only source of happiness and validation and would have a great influence on their sense of self, mood, and confidence.
People with BPD are eager to please their favorite persons. They would often shift to the idea or opinion held by their favorite person. All they care about is, matching their opinion with that of their favorite person.
How does a ‘favorite person’ relationship work?
It drove me “mad.” My brain was filled with continual thoughts that she hated me, I was a terrible friend who was not worth anything and I could not cope with this. I tried to contact her anyway I could to apologize for my behavior and essentially “beg” her to come back . I couldn’t deal with the perceived abandonment and I didn’t know what to do. I attempted to go to therapy and had a moment where I felt things were getting better, but I needed more and more evidence from her that she cared. Then I fell back down into this rabbit hole of overthinking and creating drama. As soon as “V” stopped replying to my messages, I would become convinced she had stopped caring.
So figured I would say it here to others who will understand. I will always miss “V.” I hope one day she might give me another chance, but I am also prepared for the fact that day may never come. Either way, I will always be grateful for what she did for me. She made me realize a lot about myself and taught me even more. I thought her leaving would be one of the worst things that could ever happen, but I’m getting through it and it gave me the motivation to fight my illnesses and try and get better.
Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. Their “favorite person” is an extreme version of this; for someone with BPD, the “favorite person” is deemed the most important person in their datingappcritic.com/ life. This person can be anyone but most likely a family member, romantic partner, good friend, or another supportive relationship. Unfortunately, as the relationship continues, it can be a source of stress for both parties. That’s why it’s so important to learn to recognize BPD favorite-person symptoms and signs.
